At times we may find it difficult to leave a relationship behind. We could find ourselves holding onto friendships or relationships out of fear of being lonely. If we’ve known a particular person for a long time or if he or she has done favors for us in the past, we reluctantly feel there is a level of obligation that is owed. Sometimes we may question ourselves and wonder if we are overreacting if we choose to unfriend someone based on behaviors or clash of personalities.  

We all have stress in our daily lives that are not voluntary, such as stress from work, school, health or finances. We have to remember the people we choose to be in our lives are voluntary (with the expectation of family). There are a lot of issues that cause stress that are beyond our control, but one thing we can control is who we allow in our life. Sometimes a person adding additional stress to an already stressful life can get overwhelming. As the bible states, “protect your mind and your heart.” We should try to live our lives by eliminating unnecessary stressors. Here are 3 indicators to leave a person alone:

1. Do the cons outweigh the pros? 

           From my experience, I’ve had relationships and friendships where I felt they were doing more harm than good in my life. Some questions to ask yourself is, “does this person make me more sad than happy?” or, “does this person have the power to ruin my day?” I have often made a pros and cons list for people in my life. A pros and cons list helps because it brings your thoughts to paper and provides a visual to what needs to change. 

2. Are you waiting for this person to change? 

Often we give people a lot of chances after they have upset us hoping for a change. That can leave us hurt. I understand you want this person in your life but letting them hurt you while waiting for them to change is not fair to you mentally or physically. Like I mentioned, “protect your mind and your heart.” In order to do this, you must put your feelings first and not allow anyone to hurt you. You have to be the one to cease the pain. Believe it or not there is someone who will treat you better therefore do not settle. 

3. Are you ignoring the red flags? 

Have you ever seen how a person treated someone else and hoped you would not receive that same treatment? Have you ever noticed the unappealing traits of a person but continued to maintain the relationship? Unfortunately ignoring red flags will leave you hurt as well. We often succumb to our own emotional and physical pain by ignoring the obvious red flags. Do yourself a favor and be selfish with your time, emotions, and overall happiness. 

Author Alyssa Lewis